“I’m a 45 year-old female and I’ve been experiencing retaliation and a hostile work environment in a leadership role in a large public sector office. Workplace abuse often flies under the radar — especially when it is rooted in power dynamics, favoritism, and gaslighting.
Over a year ago, I reported ongoing bullying by a peer. My supervisor assured me it would be addressed, but nothing was done for months. When she finally intervened, the dynamic remained tense and unresolved. The bully mocked me openly in a team meeting attended by administrators and refused to engage in any meaningful resolution process. As far as I know, there was no consequence. We haven’t spoken since, and the situation continues to be hostile and tense.
Around the same time, I was promoted but placed in the wrong (lower) job classification. My supervisor admitted the error and repeatedly told me it would be corrected, but over a year later, nothing has changed. I am supervising people in my same classification, which violates internal policy. When I brought this situation up to HR, they told me no changes were in progress. Since then, my supervisor’s behavior toward me has grown increasingly hostile and erratic.
I eventually had to take medical leave under FMLA for stress-related health issues, including panic attacks and insomnia. Just before I left, I was asked to train my supervisor on how to manage my team’s workload and was told about a major initiative I would be expected to lead upon my return despite having shared that my health was deteriorating due to work.
After returning from leave, the hostility escalated. My supervisor started avoiding my questions, contradicting herself, and reacting angrily when I followed up about the classification issue. In one especially disturbing incident, she held a remote 1:1 with me while sitting in a public gym café, where anyone could overhear. During that meeting, she:
- Reframed the bullying I experienced as a “two-way street,” blaming me and minimizing the situation. She even asked me to consider how the bully feels knowing full well I initially tried to resolve this situation on my own by having a supportive conversation with this person.
- Discussed my classification and that of other employees aloud, using full names.
- Claimed I might be in trouble with HR but gave no clear explanation and later walked it back.
- Admitted accessing my personal documentation and accused me of mischaracterizing her behavior — essentially weaponizing that I was documenting her conduct.
She even asked me to consider how the bully feels knowing full well I initially tried to resolve this situation on my own by having a supportive conversation with this person.
Since then, she’s bypassed me to give directives directly to my staff, failed to approve timecards during my leave, and openly praises the peer who bullied me while minimizing me in meetings.
I’ve sought internal resolution for more than a year and have received nothing but vague responses and shifting narratives. I have no disciplinary record and yet I feel constantly under scrutiny. I’m isolated, professionally undermined, and emotionally exhausted. I no longer feel safe in this role. I’m trying desperately to get out.
Adding to the toxicity, this supervisor and at least two others in leadership roles were hired through personal connections without transparent posting or process, creating a culture of favoritism and protection with no checks or balances.
I’ve documented everything. I’ve followed all internal channels. And I still feel invisible.
I know I’m not alone. I hope sharing helps someone else feel less alone, too, because this is an awful way to live.”