“I’ve been bullied at almost every job I’ve had working in the food service industry. It’s lonely because most managers don’t understand the effects of bullying or can be the one doing the bullying. The fear of being bullied and even mustering the strength to stand up for other people has repeated the cycle of abuse.
I’ve always been a person with opinions. I was told I have too many opinions. Most are rooted in social justice, and when you value justice, you quickly realize most of the world doesn’t. You quickly realize people who need to care about justice the most do not.
I started hosting for restaurants in 2019. I was a top performer, but they wouldn’t promote me because they thought I was weird. I’ll never forget being 19 and having an older blonde woman who is closer to my current age (26) look at me and say “wow, people must either love you or hate you.” I was stunned. The more I thought about it over the years, she was right.
A lot of people dislike me or are mean to me for no reason despite me being kind and competent. I let other people’s opinions of me destroy me for years and was living in a foster home where people regularly body-shamed me or accused me of stealing from them. It made most problems at work harder for me to deal with because I never had a safe space to be.
I ended up leaving my first host position for a new one that paid $5 more. My manager refused to speak to me and avoided me during my last days after I rejected her plea for me to stay. My second job racked up a lot of trauma, but it wasn’t just me. The employees would joke that the craft beer bar with Mexican fusion food was a vortex that took your soul and spit it out. We would even joke about a thirsty spirit who lurked in the hallway at night to scare the bar back.
The men at this restaurant were awful, and the women around them cared about their validation. That place would gave me panic attacks almost every day because people were constantly putting me down and making fun of me. When people would make fun of me, there wouldn’t be consequences. Other women got angry at me over my body type and commented on my outfits.
I even suspected a woman was upset with me because I didn’t want to sleep with her friend. Once I rejected him, he didn’t want to be my friend anymore. Everyone else in the restaurant ended up sleeping with him though. I ended up leaving this job because a bartender who would leave the company and come back whenever he wanted started to dislike me.
I get bullied by managers and employees because I hold people accountable and see things people don’t want me to see.
I get bullied by managers and employees because I hold people accountable and see things people don’t want me to see.
After I left the Mexican restaurant, I hosted at a corporate restaurant group. The person training me would make fun of my clothes, and the manager called me a gremlin in front of everyone. A server tormented me for no reason.
The bullying leaks into life out of work. I don’t feel safe at bars, and if someone is mean to me for no reason, I assume they know someone who lied about me. I left there after two months, and they asked me to stay by bribing me with a promotion.
My next job was one of the best restaurants in the city, so I was shocked at my experience.
I was excited to leave the restaurant where they called me a gremlin and work for this Japanese one. But the assistant general manager would grab waists of the employees, mine included. He would tell me about how he hates his wife and that my general manager puts too much work onto him. He didn’t respect that I needed off on Thursdays to go to the doctor, and now I’m without health insurance and my conditions have worsened.
They pick people who they know aren’t well-liked so they can get away with mistreating them.
Then I worked at a fancy fast food place. I overheard the managers make fun of other employees, so I shut it down. They would invite me to events after work and attempt to humiliate me. People who didn’t know me at all treated me badly.
I recently survived mobbing. It started because people were classist. People would make comments about me being stupid and not having a family. I snitched on everyone and made it worse.
I’m currently worried people will try to get me fired and ruin my reputation. I’m at risk of being unhoused and have a sick cat with no health insurance myself. Due to me not having a stable job for years, I can never get my head above water.”